Sure, it sounds like an oxymoron right from the start, the “smoker’s workout,” but anything is possible in this world, so we start with a cigarette, of course, because without one, most smokers wouldn’t even read what’s next. Go ahead, we’ll wait for you to light it. Okay. Go ahead. We’ll be right here waiting …
Great. We’re back from the “break.” Hope you’re not too tired yet. We start off by considering your breathing habits and rituals. You’re saying … “What habits? What rituals?”
Most smokers don’t even realize that their breathing pattern when they are smoking a cigarette is BETTER than when they are not. That’s one of the main reasons cigarettes relax people’s nerves. Think about it … you take a long, slow drag (breathe in), you hold it for a few moments, then a long, slow exhale. If you take a dozen drags off a cigarette (that’s average), you just engaged in a meditative breathing ritual that relaxes the entire central nervous system. Oops. And you didn’t even know. Of course, the thousands of chemicals in commercial tobacco are ruining any chance of that feeling lasting more than twenty minutes, but hey, you’re a smoker, so you’ll take what you can get … right?
Workout: Part I
Now, with a cigarette hanging from between your lips, go outside and dig a 3 small holes with a hand shovel so you can plant some herbs or flowers in the yard. This will require a little effort and heavy breathing, but will only take a few minutes. After you carry the hand shovel to the area for digging, light the cigarette, and this will help you have enough energy to dig about 3 holes maybe 4 inches deep and wide. While smoking, dig the 3 holes. Leave the hand shovel there, snub out the cigarette, and walk back inside your home. Part one of your workout is complete. You can now drive to the store and pick out a few plant pots that have some nice herbs, flowers, or maybe aloe, and plant accordingly when you get back home. Of course, planting each specimen may require a new cigarette, but “whatever” right? You’re about to quit smoking for life. So have at it. Now go plant some plants. If you live in the USA, except Alaska, Spring weather is on the way.
Workout: Part II
Everything from here on out you can consider “extra-curricular.” This means it’s going above and beyond the usual physical activities that most smokers dare engage in a normal day. Now, you may have a physical job, and nobody is taking anything away from that, but let’s get one thing straight. You don’t workout. So part II of this workout plan is extra-curricular. Consider it a bonus. There’s not much of a chance that you’re going to jump into some “pickup” basketball game in the street down the road from your house, with the “fellas,” and it’s highly unlikely you’re going to go up to some field and start kicking around a soccer ball with friends, or throwing and chasing a Frisbee around the park, even though the some dog would love to take you up on that. Plus, you wouldn’t be caught “dead” lifting weights or running on a treadmill because you might actually GET CAUGHT DEAD like that for real, when your lungs collapse from trying so hard just to breathe while running in place for no good reason, when you’re just going to smoke another smoke as soon as it’s over, which is in about two minutes, and would involve you looking kind of dumb smoking a cigarette outside the gym where you just bust your butt for two minutes on a treadmill or trying to lift some awfully heavy dumbbells in your old stained sweatpants and some tennis shoes that don’t fit you anymore or have holes in the bottom from when you used to be active, way, way back, before you took up the cancer stick habit.
So, that leaves us where? –With part II of your workout involving cleaning out your fridge, pantry and freezer of all the foods that are not fresh organic fruits and vegetables, nuts and seeds. Now THAT’S a workout you can survive, of course, probably while smoking your third cigarette. Go right ahead. We’re about done here. For tips on how to eat healthy food that will give you the fuel to quit smoking and workout for real some other day soon, link here. This is how people actually live to be 110 and still have their health and wits about them:
So go now, clean out your fridge, pantry and freezer, and put every piece of junk food in a box, and maybe you can donate it to some homeless person who isn’t trying to quit cigarettes, yet. Get it done. This is important. We’ll be right here waiting for you.
Workout: Part III
Okay. We know. Now you’re exhausted, in need of another cigarette, and you have no groceries left in the house. Perfect. Go ahead. Smoke. Ask us if we care, because we don’t. All we care about is that by tomorrow, you will have the fuel, the knowledge, the plan and the motivation to quit the cancer sticks for good. So, like we said, light up, and contemplate this. The secret to having energy, motivation, enthusiasm, and willpower is in the fuel that you next consume. This fuel must be pure. Greens. Let’s say it again. Greens. Yes, that means actually eating some organic spinach, or kale, or chard, or maybe you’re the collard fan. We are too. Love them collard greens. So, if you haven’t already made that trip to the store for the plants/herbs, you can do this all in one shot. Get the plants, then, on the way home, stop SOMEWHERE that sells organic food and get those organic greens, and load up on some other produce, whatever looks tasty, but make sure it’s organic.
You may notice the other people around you shopping don’t really look like smokers–that’s because they’re not. It’s okay. Don’t judge them. They may look at you strange because you’re “new” to their surroundings. Look back at ’em like you just moved in and you’re happy about it. Nod your head and grin. This is the beginning of the end of cigarettes for you. Now pay for the goods and go straight back home, with your herbs and your produce. You are alive! You just completed part III of your workout! Yes, we know, the only physical thing you did was shop, but guess what? All workouts are not just physical, some are mental. You just beat back the worst part of yourself, that was living in denial about your physical, emotional and mental state. You just crossed the threshold and bought your first ticket to a day in the new life you’re beginning. That can be exhausting in itself. That’s fine. Breathe deep. Hold for a few seconds. Release. Repeat 12 times. Now go break a cigarette in half and throw it in the trashcan.
Workout: Part IV
Here’s the easiest part of all, and then you’re done for today, and guess what, it’s not even a physical workout, because, c’mon, you’re not really ready for that. Give the organic food a good night’s sleep and tomorrow you will be ready for more. So, before bed tonight, the final part of today’s workout involves coming up with an easy workout plan for tomorrow, the next day, and the next. This will be something you can easily accomplish, like walking briskly for a mile, or doing 50 jumping jacks and 20 pushups in your den. You might even go for a bike ride, a skate board ride, or a short hike through the park near your home. You might even play outside with the dog or wait for it …. throw the football or a softball with a partner. Like we said, make this easy as pie. It’s how you start something new. You don’t go out there and “kill yourself” trying some crazy hard workout so you’ll be sore for a week and say “forget that.” No, this is simple. It’s not about being a star athlete or some cross training health nut next month. It’s about ending cigarette addiction. So, write down two or three different things you can and WILL do, and vary them throughout the week, so you don’t get bored. You may want to load some of your favorite motivating songs on an ipod or download some to your phone for the workouts. That makes it “most excellent.”
Now you have completed today’s 4-part workout. You have but one thing left to do before going to bed tonight. Gain the knowledge you need about behavior modification and nutrition. This will be your blueprint plan for life. It will never fail you. It will be your best and most reliable friend. You will always have it. It will be in your head and nobody can steal it or borrow it and forget to give it back. Go now, be happy, because you have the blueprint plan in your hands. Click the next link for the ultimate way to quit smoking without gimmicks, without nicotine replacement, and without medication.
Watch the preview now to “14AndOut – Stop Smoking Naturally”
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